pre-nuptial agreements
create a foundation for trust and freedom
the prenup problem
You’re in a great relationship and ready to get married. You also have a financial context that causes one or both of you to feel like a prenup would be a good idea. You want to be prepared and responsible, but also don’t want to start a legal process that’s going to create conflict. And you definitely don’t want to assume divorce.
An attorney is supposed to be a zealous advocate for their client. When you have two attorneys, and each of you is being zealously advocated for, it would be natural for conflict to occur.
mediation is good for relationships
That’s because as mediators, our job is to look for places of shared interest. And as you are formalizing your life together, the primary shared interest is the health of your relationship. With access to both legal and relationship expertise, we’ll help you identify your values for your relationship. The goals we’ll set are going to be interpersonal as well as financial. Identifying what’s important to you and creating a context for achieving that starts you out on the right foot.
if everyone had to draft a prenup…
marriages would be better off. The courage to have difficult conversations is a necessary relationship skill. Those conversations are more effective when facilitated by professional facilitators who have both the legal and interpersonal expertise to help you identify your hopes and priorities for relationship. And if you have challenges down the road, you can just come back in for an hour or two of mediation to work through them. We’re here for you throughout the course of what might arise in your relationship.
schedule a free consult
Schedule a 30-minute consult (free of charge) for you to have information about collaborative processes and identify the type of support you need.
how we approach prenuptial mediation
We will work through the problem at hand for however long it takes. Most clients, most of the time, need three to four sessions (60 minutes each), but your mileage will vary.
During each session, we’ll discuss the important, pertinent issues at hand. I’m familiar with the most common ones, but of course you’ll have specific issues unique to yourselves.
The main issues are what you value and how you feel valued. The work is translating your values (what’s important to you) into the practical experiences of every-day life - such as how you share expenses or save for retirement, or who the beneficiaries on various accounts.
You will be in control, free to change directions, pause or move forward. Most of the time, you’ll give me the wheel, because I’m familiar with the territory.
homework
After each session, you’ll have homework. I’ll ask you to discuss certain topics between sessions, topics that may require a few conversations to work out shared understandings. We can collaborate on any consultations with an attorney or financial advisor when there are questions beyond my expertise.
product & outcome
The “product” of our work together is the prenuptial agreement. This document lays out a roadmap of guidelines, boundaries and definitions that create a shared understanding of common values as you head into marriage. We’ll work with a family law attorney of your choosing (or we can refer you to any of the attorneys we work with) to draft the final prenup agreement.
Beyond the prenuptial agreement itself, the outcome of our mediation is a deeper, better relationship and a shared understanding of what’s important to you.
“My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style.”